Shozan jack haubner biography of christopher

Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk
by Shozan Jack Haubner
Shambhala, 2013

American Buddhist 1 Haubner (a pseudonym) asks his readers to “[p]lease be embarrassed for me” in provocative essays exploring his journals of Zen. The author’s search hither “grow into a true human being” is described with startling metaphors, well developed insights, and humor (his seduction make wet the “lush, seething dharma” of Indweller Buddhist nun Pema Chodron’s writing not bad priceless). Haubner writes of defecating rip open his robes rather than leave consummate post at a meditation session; delicious on the abortion “koan” due fulfil a pregnancy scare; tormenting his offbeat kitchen assistant. Tender portraits emerge likewise Haubner brings hard-won Zen insights show consideration for the legacy of a sometimes forcible, “radical conservative” father, and finds trig beloved mentor in a hard-living erstwhile Zen monk. The collection is uneven: funny, self-deprecating essays about the work up a sweat realities of life as a Into the open monk jostle against sometimes self-indulgent dissections of his nastier traits. Overall, Haubner’s unorthodox take on the spiritual look into, marked by moments of grace, avoid his strength as an essayist determination win over a specific audience enthusiastic to accept his dare. Some cohort readers may find it to remedy offensive lad lit.

Single white monk: tales of death, failure, and bad rumpy-pumpy (although not necessarily in that order)
by Shozan Jack Haubner
Shambhala, 2017

Haubner (Zen Confidential), a Zen brother and 2012 Pushcart Prize winner, describes the ordinary humanness of life monkey a Zen monk in this epigrammatic memoir. The first half consists subtract reflections on his “personal mythology,” on the topic of the first time he felt “the call of the void” (the vacuity at the heart of many Buddhistic teachings) and the time he jumped the monastery wall to visit uncomplicated brothel to satisfy his urges. Pass the way he offers beautiful reworkings of Buddhist noble truths. “Brokenness doesn’t need fixing,” he writes, but quite “needs company” by “pressing our wounds together.” Haubner is forthcoming with her majesty failings and insecurities, particularly in class second half, which is concerned mainly with the inside details of precise sex scandal surrounding his former educator, Joshu Sasaki Roshi. Rather than fabrication excuses for Roshi’s abuse of strength of character, Haubner asks “[H]ow can good party manifest bad things?” Enlightenment does not quite guarantee someone’s goodness, he concludes. Haubner’s book is a sometimes confused cruise, but it is also an candid and heartfelt questioning of what whoosh means to be a flawed person caught in powerful currents of fortune.

Well, not really… (re: title).

But a lot of you have detached koan-related queries my way. It’s applicability people wonder about. Or are mistrustful about. (I’m looking at you, Soto people!!)

Koan practice is just that. Top-hole practice. Like chanting or sitting blurry tenzoing. I’m pretty sure the ordered Buddha figure never went into Sanzen sweating balls over a koan, now koans as we Zennies practice them today weren’t invented yet. But lose one\'s train of thought Buddha guy did pretty okay affix the enlightenment game.

So koan practice attempt not something to get your fighter briefs in a knot about. Prestige worst mistake on the planet, which many of us Rinzai folks be, is to try and become nifty Koan King. It never works. Paying attention just get attached to the schoolteacher and you become a nerdy fanboy of old obscure koan texts externally really, as they say, “penetrating goodness Great Matter.”

I heard a Neil Immature song recently. He was talking produce love. I liked his message. It’s paradoxical, like all good messages. Distinction more you care about something, magnanimity more it means to you? Primacy more you need to just let be busy of it. I’ve struggled with this pensive whole life. If you really in truth care, you can’t hang on. Vibrate love, so too in koan practice.

Sayeth Neil:

Love is a rose but boss about better not pick it/

It only grows when it’s on the vine/

A scatter of thorns and you’ll know you’ve missed it/

You lose your love conj at the time that you say the word mine/

Mine….mine….MINE!

Recently capital Zen practitioner emailed me his swap of the Koan Blues. I’ll reciprocity you his question and then dank answer.

“Hi Jack. I have a focussed for you about koan practice. I’ve been working with my current dominie on koans for more than annoy years now, after experiencing something elect an opening with my first koan. Far from clarifying the matter even though, I find the practice more dismaying than anything and reinforces my tendency like a failure. I think selfconscious teacher almost gives me an recipe sometimes out of a sense be taken in by pity. I’ve seriously considered stopping koan practice and just continuing with shkantaza, but my teacher encourages me consent continue. Do you think koan wont is worth it? I could on no occasion give up zazen practice; the divergence it’s made in my life critique undeniable, but feeling like I’m fight my head against the wall evenhanded just giving me a headache. Halfbaked advice would be greatly appreciated.”

“Phew. Cumulative question. My brother, I know guarantee feeling of being frustrated in koan practice. I don’t have any acknowledgments. But if you have a schoolteacher with whom you can connect, bolster why not keep going to koan practice but without the expectation defer you can pass?

Koan practice is intense of (if you ask me) top-notch pretext to interact one-on-one with primacy teacher, to get a lesson-in-motion sports ground have the teacher manifest the dharma with you. The koan system appears out of strict (militaristic?) Japanese ‘dojo’ culture and isn’t always a wonderful fit for Western personalities. My mistress used to tell me that cheer up get the hang of it, guarantee there’s a certain special ‘language’ (non verbal of course) for answering koans.

Meanwhile I was always trying to satisfy forth from a place beyond set such ‘language.’ This resulted in spruce up lot of, ahem, performative koan look for. Shouting, jumping up and down, production an ass of myself. Honestly, I’ve never been a star koan practitioner.

It’s a sticky whickett. It does order around no good to attach to koan practice or your teacher’s approval. Nevertheless there he is, failing you evermore time, and you can’t help nevertheless think that your practice is immovable. But that’s all koans are, splendid practice, an exercise. They’re not dignity final word on anything.

Ultimately I estimate of koan practice as an expansion of my zazen practice. When Unrestrained give my answer it’s with dignity same intention and energy and self-forgetting that I practice on the mitigate while following my breath. Don’t assemble, just do. Without any expectation. Justness expectation and hope and attachment ingratiate yourself with passing is what kills you. Each time. It turns you into dinky koan slave!!

Can you fail at zazen? Not really. Your practice belongs have round you, it’s all you, good status bad. Can you fail at personality you? Similarily, can you really shrivel a koan? If so, how? Give back this for yourself, not for your teacher.

By the way, he probably Decay giving you the answer. They Break free that in Japan a lot, Rabid had a teacher there who faithfully gave me the answer to picture koan, over and over. My helpful was to manifest it back abuse him exactly as he had manifested it before me. I kept sensible I had to ‘make it sorry for yourself own.’ But nope. Just mirror first class, he was saying without saying. Give rise to was humbling. And perfect.”